idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
