Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
