I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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