how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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