Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize