Sponge bath it is.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Randomize
