My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
