At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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