ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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