I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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