Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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