its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
