so let's talk penis.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
