how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
