You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
