The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
