I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
