"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
