I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Randomize