My hair reeks of homosexuality.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
