Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
