and next time when you feel me up, do it right
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
