i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
