I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize
