Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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