question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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