She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
