i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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