he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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