I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
foreskin is a definite game changer
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
