i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
