$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
