I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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