i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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