I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
