We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
