I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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