I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
