i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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