chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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