Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Randomize
