We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
