She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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