So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
