Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
