If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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