Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
