Sry I called you an 8
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
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