K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
So gin and wine won't be happening again
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Randomize
