I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
She needs sedatives and a leash
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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