whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
