didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
