...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
