i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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