i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
