My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
